Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A Filtered Life

A Filtered Life
We all have filters. Car filters, air filters, coffee filters just to name a few. If you don't believe filters are important, make a pot of coffee and don't use a filter- see how that works out for you!!  For all of life- we need filters. 
We experience events that become very important filters in our lives. We have all had bad things happen- death, divorce, illness, financial crisis, mean people.  Those events become filters. Filters help us to see life through a different lens.  Filters can help us keep out the yucky stuff.

Mike and I like to say that we have a DIRT FILTER.  When you stand at an open grave of your 23 year old son and you watch people throw dirt on his casket, it changes what you let in your life, how you see life and what you choose to do with it.

Here are some things my filters have taught me:
1). The importance of Spiritual Authority. 
2). The importance of becoming Eternally Minded. 
3)  The necessity of learning to Trust in The Lord. 
4). The gift of Overcoming Fear. 

Whether we know it or not- God is always getting us ready for the next thing.  Filters define those moments or seasons in our lives. Filters provide transitions for the next big thing that is planned for us.  Filters help us become who God intends us to be.  Filters become opportunities for us to show God's love to others and to feel God's mercy. I believe that within the filter of God's great Will for my life, He deals with me in the most merciful way he can. These opportunities help me get to know God in a completely different way. 

The Family Heritage Filter--
My filters began with knowing and understanding my family heritage.   I have heard my parents' stories. My parents have done what the scriptures have instructed them to do.  Deuteronomy 11:18-21 - Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. The family stories helped develop my filter system.   If my parents 'got' through something, then I knew I could too.  Each time something happens in my life it becomes a part of my filter system. One thing helps with the next, then the next .....always moving forward!  Family stories build faith, family struggles can build great filters.

The Skip Filter-
Skip Thompson, my brother, was 38 years old with a wife and three young children, ages 6, 4, and 18 months, when he suffered an aortic dissection, massive stroke, and was in Intensive Care for 59 days! Now if that's not a big enough mess- it was all the mess we wanted!!  Skip ended up walking out of the hospital after those 59 days. Aortic dissections are typically instant death! Skip works, has found new love and enjoys his family. The spiritual authority in this filter was Wayne Thompson, my father.  My dad has always been a Godly man!  He set the stage after hearing from The Lord. We were going to lay hands on Skip, pray every day for Skip to be resurrected. We didn't need to pray about what God's Will was to be for Skip. We had read the Word and Skip was to live and be healthy. That's all my daddy needed to know. One night three different doctor friends told us that Skip was a very healthy young man, so he would most likely live three days. He was sure to die. No uncertainty about that!  My daddy said, "we are going to remind The Lord of what HE told us about Skip". We began to pray and I witnessed my momma crying out to God. She reminded God of who Skip was, who he had been and who he was going to be. She pleaded with The Lord to save her son- and  HE DID!  Skip's body began to work instantly. He would live. He is now my hero for doing what most people would have given up on--LIFE!   He is my filter!  He is loving life again, has found new love and is enjoying the fact that his children are growing up with a father.  Life is good!

Romans 8-18. Look for the goodness of God ordained suffering
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:  They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. (Romans 8:15-39 MSG)

The Thompson's and McSpadden's were learning to embrace spiritual authority, be eternally minded, trust The Lord, and overcome fear!

I'm not a fan of people saying “well, God allows things to happen to us to build our character”. Let me give you a heads up.... That's garbage in my opinion. I don't need character to be built by my filters. I need to understand how much God loves me and because he has loved me before I was in my mothers womb- I can trust that the filters that come in my life certainly go across the desk of God for approval, but God doesn't zap us to make us better. We live in an awful, sin-ridden world. That's why bad things happen!


Mikell- The Dirt Filter-
Life was great for us. Mikell was a senior in college, Matthew had graduated high school and went to International House of Prayer to spend 6 months in intercessory prayer before starting college. Mason was a junior in high school. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)

On Jan 4, 2008, we got a visit from the Sheriff telling us our son had died in his campus apartment at Arkansas Tech that day. It became a mess quickly! So here's where we were.....

Psalms 73
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,    I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.    Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.    You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.    Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.    My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.    Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.    But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign  Lord  my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:21-28 NIV)

Mason had a ballgame that night that he chose to play in because the team needed him. That is an example of a great blessing for a mom. Mason put his hurt aside and gave to others in the worst pain in his life. After the game we were standing outside our home while dozens of friends and family were inside to support us. Mason wanted to know details that we knew and Mike told him what we had been told. We knew he died in his apartment at approximately 7:00 that morning. We knew he hadn't taken his own life. We knew no one had harmed him. We knew they had transported him to the state crime lab to find out what had happened.  Once we cried and prayed together, Mason said, "now it's time for us to live what we have said we believe. We have to trust God'!  And so we followed Mason’s lead and that’s what we do!

Say these words with me...…”time does not heal- time well spent -helps”.  Every day is a bad day -unless I choose to make it a good day. Every day I choose to get out of bed, work, live life. What I'd like to do is isolate myself from all of the world and just go away. I don’t want to see people.  I don’t want to talk to people.  I don’t want to go on.  But you see..... I have other filters- my mom buried a child that was 7 months gestation. We all had lost family and friends to death.  What I saw was- everyone carried on after those deaths.  Though we all wanted it to - life goes on.  It doesn’t stop.  Some people we watched moved on well, some not so well. The McSpadden’s wanted to carry on well. We had two children that needed us to 'show them what right looks like'. We had employees, friends and family who would need to see us doing well.  

We held on to Romans 8:28. This was all going to work out for good!  I wasn't real sure how God was gonna convince me of that, but deep in my soul- I just knew it was true. 

We had to begin to see this life as an internship for what is to come. This part of our life here is just preparation for our eternal life with the LORD.  Pastor Glenn Thompson, a true spiritual leader, helped our family change the way to see this filter. He helped us understand that we would always have a relationship with Mikell.  Mikell wasn’t dead he just didn’t live here anymore.  Our relationship with Mikell was now changed.  Mikell had become a part of the ‘great cloud of witnesses’.  Mikell would now be interceeding on our behalf to the Father.  Bro. T helped us to heal, grieve and work through what we now call the 'worst thing and best thing' that has ever happened to us. 

Spiritual authority, eternally minded, trust in The Lord, overcoming fear--- we were experiencing it in a whole new way!

And so our lives moved on.....

The Matthew filter-

August 14, 2010. Matthew, our middle son, got married! It was a very wonderful and very sad day for the McSpadden's, especially Matthew.   His oldest brother would only be there on a bracelet inscribed MPMJ - Mikell's initials. It was different.... And beautiful!  I had finally gotten my daughter I had always longed for--Life is good!

Roll forward exactly 60 days-October 13, 2010. Kasha called about 9:30 one night to tell us that Matthew had been hurt in an intramural flag football game. We drove to Fayetteville and throughout the night discovered that when Matthew had gotten hit in the neck, his right carotid artery had collapsed and a blood clot had caused a stroke on the left and frontal lobes of his brain. A STROKE at 21 years old! This was another bad day. Matthew was airlifted from Washington Regional to St.  Vincent's hospital in Little Rock so he could be the patient of a “rock star” doctor. This man had created this procedure that seemed to be what Matthew needed.   Matthew was there for a few days and then released back to Health South in Fayetteville for treatment.  I simply, forcefully and loudly said--”God what's up with this”?  Matthew had to learn to talk, walk, eat, live again!  It has been a hard struggle. One you just can't know unless you've been there and done that!  Excruciating heartbreak!  What a way to start a marriage, right?  Matthew is doing well, thanks to God, Kasha and his team of physicians and therapists. We believe God is going to fully restore him to the prophecies that have been spoken over his life. We know that!  He and Kasha live in Austin Texas. She is a nurse supervisor and he is teaching for KIPP: Camino charter school in San Antonio. Matthew is ministering to children who have less and want more! I love that!!  Matthew's filter had me pondering Job. Job had lost everything! Job 42:5 My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. (Job 42:5 NIV). At the onset of Matthew's event, I asked God to not make me bury another child. God spoke to Mike, as he cried out pleading on our family's behalf-"yes we could do that"!  So we definitely knew God was listening to us- because HE responded!  I had grown up in a Christian home with parents who had always relied on God. I knew, like Job, because I had heard of HIM. But now- I could see God. I could clearly see that my life was about something bigger than me.  I had to keep my eyes on the Lord's blessings in my life.   I've always had Gods blessings. I had them before Skips event, during and after.   As my filter became a Dirt Filter, there were blessings before,  during and after Mikell went to heaven. Blessings come- God makes sure of that. Sometimes they are difficult to see, but it doesn't mean they are not there- it means I haven't recognized it yet. I've learned through my filters that life is a choice -so is happiness. Matthew helped me to learn these great things in life. 

The Mason Filter-
'Am I next?'  That question from Mason was hard to hear!! I couldn't say anything but 'I don't know'!  God does!  After counseling and many hours of soul searching,  Mason decided to transfer to Hollywood, California to finish his degree in music! What in the world! One in Heaven, one recovering from a stroke In a brand new marriage and now one moving as far away as he could find a place to move!!  Wow! What was this filter about?  This filter was about FREEDOM!  Mason taught me to never fear the unknown ever again! What's to fear when God speaks?  What's to fear when you know God is right smack in the middle of your life? This Mason filter is liberating!

The Financial Filter

In 1995, I left a wonderful school counseling job to expand my mom’s child care company.  Skip and I developed a plan to partner with a large corporation in Fort Smith to provide child care for it’s company employees. It was a two year, painstaking, lots of contracts and paperwork kind of project.  Finally the day came.  The day we opened -4 of 97 previously enrolled children showed up.  Something was bad wrong.  These 13 employees we had hired needed children in their classrooms.  I called the corporate office to say something was going on. They were panicked to say the least. The management team had learned that day that someone within the company had circulated an anonymous letter saying that my brother and I should be considered child sexual abusers because they had read some data that proved that most child care abusers were family providers. They were asking the company employees to NOT enroll their children in this company child care system.  (Now that's some pure research proven data right there isn't it??) NO- that's data straight from the pits of Hell. It was intended to destroy what God had orchestrated!  That led us down a path of 1 million + dollars of debt. The company worked with us and finally released us of a ten year lease only 3.5 years into the lease. The Christian leadership in this company was a huge part of this financial filter.  They showed love and mercy when they didn’t have to show us anything at all except contracts we had signed.

Most sane people would never venture out and do something like that ever again and take that risk. Today, I'm involved in 5 different companies that I own, manage or am a consultant. No I'm not insane- I'm radically in love with living life God's way!  I’m constantly focused on becoming eternally minded, trusting in The Lord, living under spiritual authority of many God-chasing people (mostly my husband) and not allowing fear to enter into my pathway!  I choose to trust God even when it doesn’t make sense or when it’s so painful I want to quit.  I choose life.

So back to that coffee filter- you can drink that cup of coffee you made without that filter or you can trust yourself to make another cup with the filter- making that coffee something to enjoy!

In the future- embrace your filters, love God; love others and just sit back and enjoy the LIFE!


Be blessed in 2014! 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Just ponderin'

A good friend of mine went to be with Jesus this week. Bill Shure is that friend. This world will miss him.  His children will miss him most. I just began to PONDER!

 See-God weaves our lives in crazy ways that we just don't understand. The connections he creates are simply- amazing. I first was introduced to Bill at Faith Assembly of God in Fort Smith. Our pastor, Bernard Ridings, brought in all these HIPPIES to our church that just 'hung out at the church' and PRAYED and played music!  They wore blue jeans, had long hair and beards! Mercy! These HIPPIES were amazing. They were free spirited and loved The Lord more than they loved themselves. What memories I have of those days!  Bill was one of those hippies that stayed connected to western Arkansas. Bill wasn't real concerned for himself. Being in Bill's presence was quite possibly one of the greatest experiences one could experience. He was always positive, always uplifting, always gentle, always kind, always talking about The Lord. The kind of man that when you left his company-- YOU felt better having spent some time with him. A year ago on my blog- Bill responded to one of my posts-JUST PONDERIN',   I remember the day I read that comment of his and was so touched by his words. Today- it means even more. I love that man of God.

So many have witnessed the talent that God gifted him with on this earth. Children's and youth programs/buildings have experienced first hand- church buses painted like Noah's Ark running down the road 'hauling' children to church.  Fire trucks, whales and other amazing creatures of God's own handiwork 'coming out of the walls in youth or children's buildings.  Massive trees for children to play on while they learn about the love of Jesus. My personal favorite- plant pedestals!  PLANT STANDS??? Yes- when Mikell died- we got plants! Now this girl here -can't grow a thing! But I got plants- plants that I just couldn't part with. Plants that I suddenly got commissioned to keep alive- OH lord!! Where else better to store them than in my church!  Beautiful to say the least. So I called my friend Bill Shure! Of course he knew just how to showcase them. Pedestals made of something I surely cannot identify, but absolutely beautiful works of art. These pedestals now reside in the Kiddie Kollege/Center for Child Development building. I get to see them every day! My heart is now more proud than ever, seeing those plants sitting on beautiful stands that were crafted by my friend Bill.

Now I'm JUST PONDERIN'--when Bill had his welcoming party in Heaven this week--I'm betting Mikell met him there!  I think it might have gone like this--  "Mikell- when you came to Jesus-your family got all these beautiful plants and I made some pedestals for your parents to showcase these plants". I believe Mikell's response was- "Bill- what color are those pedestals?"  Well...... Duh...... Green and gold - of course!:).  

As you ponder life today, be like Bill. Love God! Love others! and pray for Bill's family! They are missing a wonderful father, brother, friend. I know I am.


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Train up a child


Proverbs 22:6 is pretty clear about training our children in the way he should go!  It even says when he is old he won't depart from it. What we want to do is train them in the way WE want them to go. Then when they are old they won't depart from it. I wish I could say that is exactly what will happen. The problem with that thought is that it is not what God wants for us. He wants us to rear our children in the way HE wants them to go. We like that a lot until they move to Hollywood, Austin or Heaven. What the heck is that all about??  I always prayed for my children to follow The Lord  but what I meant to say was....... But stay close!  So what I find myself doing is wondering how messed up I would've gotten things if they had done what MY heart wanted instead of what God wanted for them?  It would be some kind of serious mess!  

For years, in my early childhood training classes, I've said, "don't worry about the small details in small lives".  Train them to be 23 some day!  "Teach them how to live their lives and live in this world", I have said many times. "The rest will take care of itself mostly". "Teach them how to be with all people, love all people and take care of all people."  

Watching my adult children live their lives this way, makes my day!  I see God's blessings on them. I see how God is working it all out the way He wants it to be regardless of my selfish attitudes about what I want.  I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have Mikell come back to us and leave the presence of God, taking care of the "little ones" in Heaven. I wouldn't want Matthew and Kasha to come back to us and not fulfill the destiny God has for them in Austin. I wouldn't have Mason leave Hollywood and give up God's promises to him. That would be a serious parenting problem!  

However.... I need a jet!   This 24 hour drive to Los Angeles wears me out!  It's nice to be back home, I miss my children terribly but it's all in God's plan for my life and theirs. Training them up to go God's way- requires years of preparation!  It also requires whole families, school teachers, church workers, friends and communities. I had NO idea what I was getting in to!:). I'd do it again though!  All FOUR of them make me proud!  Mason, Mikell, Matthew and Kasha...... Love God; Love others!  And while your living life- pray for your Dad!  I'm wearing him out!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Mikell's Heaven Day 2013 - A great filter!

It's been 5 years since Mikell left us to transition to his new life in heaven.  It's been a great experience for our family - and shall I just say - a horrible one as well.  Nothing prepares you for this part of a life.  I can say with all honesty that both Mike and I have great parents and siblings who helped make us who we are today.  That is to say we are very competitive, aggressive (well one of us - you guess which one), goal seeking, dreamers and most of all we were given a pathway of faith from our families that always lead us to the cross of Jesus.  Nothing is better than that.  What better thing can a family give it's members than to show and teach the love of Jesus and to show us how to love others.  We have both watched our families suffer loss and heart ache only to point us to the love of God and His great mercies.  Mike always says that God deals with all of us in the most merciful way He can deal with us.    That's just what HE does.  We have seen that in our families throughout our lives.  That training certainly has helped us move through this journey of burying a child; a man child at that; a large man child even more!  Who would've thought that in June of 1984 that baby boy that was born two weeks early would leave this world in January of 2008, many YEARS early too!

Don't understand; don't need to understand!  In a world where everyone gets to say anything they want to say without any accountability (Mike calls it cyber-courage!), and a world where we butt into everyone's business and we share everything about our lives thinking that everyone wants to know......... the truth is - we have so little control about anything that goes on in our lives.  We like to think we elect Presidents and Congressmen/ladies - we don't - God works all that out.  We like to think we have jobs because of our training and what we know - not hardly - God works all that out.  What I have learned over the past 8 years specifically (beginning with Skip's event as we call it) - God is in control whether we like it or not.  Now what that really means is FREEDOM.  I don't have to worry about anything because when the bad things happen - He's got that too!

I've learned to say that Mikell changing geography is both the best and the worst thing in my life.  Matthew's accident and stoke and Skip's dissection and stroke come in second and third.  You know those kinds of things you drive a stake in the ground and say....... This is something that God is going to show HIMSELF wonderful over and I have to help make that happen.  When you have a filter of burying a child and coming close to burying two children - you understand instantaneously that there is a God and it is not me.  You see - Heaven is now my goal more than ever before.  I am aggressively pursuing that pathway.  I understand that Mikell is still my son and forever will be.  He just lives further away than Texas and California.  In fact, I HATE that my boys and daughter live so far away and we cannot enjoy seeing them live their lives and be a part of that.  I do clearly understand that Austin and Los Angeles..... I can get there if I need or want to get there fairly easy.

I care deeply about people, about justice and about right living but who wins a ballgame or an election......I just don't care.  Now that's a great filter.  A filter I wish I could've had many years ago when my boys were little (without having to have one of them taken away from me).  A filter I wish my family and friends could learn without the hurt and pain.  A filter that doesn't worry about the economy or taxes or laws because I know who is really in control.  A filter that gives you such freedom it's almost hard to describe.  A filter that says - 'Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life'.  Philippians 4:6,7 (Message).

So the journey continues, and oh what a journey it is................. To God Be The Glory  -

Mikell, Mason, Matthew and Kasha -- Love God; Love Others and always know - Mom loves you and my filter will always include YOU!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

A Great Life.....

A tradition that started several years ago with our three sons has become a really fun, exhausting, tiring, humbling day for Mike and I.  We would always go to the Mission in Van Buren to have the boys serve the homeless.  What a wonderful thing for children to do!  Of course they griped, complained, etc. Who cared?  They were going!  Now all the griping and complaining really was just a show - they really loved it and we now know that because they are now serving others on Thanksgiving Day as adults.

It was Thanksgiving 2009,  Mike, Matthew, Mason and I get to the Mission to serve and there along with Don and Terri Adams and one of their children, found that the volunteers were plentiful and not much help was needed from us.  It was that day that the 2 families decided to feed the hungry in Alma.  So the story begins.........

Today, our third year - we fed approximately 320 people at Kiddie Kollege Alma.  We had a great day ministering to the Alma community.  We had over 25 volunteers from the community and several community partners who helped make it all happen.  We had people cooking, cleaning, serving food behind the food bar, packaging 'to go' meals, packaging food bags for the families we were serving.

As the day ended, the last turkey served, the floors mopped at Kiddie Kollege and building all locked up - I couldn't get home fast enough........ to sob!  I cried for several minutes, thinking of past memories with my children who always served alongside us, thinking of how awesome it was to serve our friends and acquaintances in Alma who need what they cannot have - FOOD.  I cried thinking about what life might be like if we cared less about MORE and more about LESS!  I cried thinking about the people who were so humbly, appreciative of the small amount of food that was given to them.  What would life be like if we worked together to create better communities, schools, programs, and families?  I really wonder...... and until next Thanksgiving 2013 - BE BLESSED!

So if you want to be a part of a great community event by sponsoring - send your tax deductible donations to Western Arkansas Child Development; 14 W Cherry St; Alma, Arkansas 72921.  Mark your check:  Thanksgiving Day 2013.  The goal next year is 350 people; 2 pallets of food for the giveaway to each family that is fed.  The approximate cost next year will be $3000.  Be blessed and remember...... Love God; Love Others!